Transmisogyny and Innerworld Identity:
Why there’s no such thing as a “transfem alter”
Preamble
I am the host of a bodily transfem system. I’m writing this in an attempt to educate people on this issue, and to explain my stance and why I feel that way. There’s a good chance that you’re reading this because you label yourself as a “transfem alter” in a non-transfem body, and you’re likely pretty angry about the notion that your identity is invalid. I encourage you to keep an open mind and to hear me out throughout this document, and to not look at this as a challenge of your identity, but rather me trying to boost transfem voices and correct misinformation. Quite often when I say how I feel about this issue, people will immediately dismiss me as being “transphobic” and instantly remove me from whatever space I was speaking in, without even hearing me out. I ask that you try your best to genuinely listen to me, and don’t just immediately ignore the possibility that you’re doing something wrong just because it would involve you changing your label. This document will contain depictions of transphobia, and mentions of hate crimes, violence, and pedophilia, so please keep this in mind.
What is transmisogyny?
“Transmisogyny” is a term first coined by Julia Serano in her book Whipping Girl, which discusses the specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny as it affects trans women and other transfeminine individuals. In an interview with the New York Times, Serano said “If people are going to make jokes about transgender people, they usually single out trans women. The underlying theme of the joke is how ridiculous it is that someone who was a man would decide to be a woman, to be feminine.”(1) This is the fundamental idea behind transmisogyny– trans women are looked down upon even more than trans men because transphobic people will see us as nothing but men acting feminine.
You may be thinking, but transphobes will also just see trans men as women acting masculine, so why would trans women have it worse? The answer to this is that transmisogyny goes hand in hand with violent transphobia. Transphobic individuals will see transfemmes as men, and thus are more willing to be physically and verbally abusive with their transphobia. In 2017, 87% of the victims of lethal transphobic hate crimes were trans women. Trans men were only 4%, with other gender identities making up the last 9%.(2) Transmisogyny also disproportionately hurts non-white transfemmes, with 95% of those trans women killed being women of color. I encourage you to research this more, but that is a completely different point and one that I am not qualified to speak on.
At the end of this paragraph are a couple of comics from the fairly popular online comic artist Stonetoss. Despite the fact that Stonetoss has made numerous comics regarding his anti-transgender opinions, all of these transphobic comics directly depict trans women and his notion that transgenderism is tricking male children into thinking they are women.(3) You can see trans women depicted as having excessive stubble, dyed hair, and indoctrinating children into their “agenda”, something that conservatives often mention, saying that trans women are hurting and brainwashing children. It can also be observed from these comics how these claims tie into the association of trans women with pedophiles, with a pedophilic symbol appearing in both of these comics.(4)
In this discussion, transmascs and trans men are usually viewed as the victims. Transphobic propaganda in the media will talk about how “our daughters are being corrupted”, the victims of the trans agenda pushed by trans women. A PragerU video called “Why Girls Become Boys” insists that teenage girls are being misled into thinking they’re boys, expressing a backhanded sympathy that they actually want what’s best for them.(5) All in all, it is clear that transphobia against transfemmes and trans women is much more hostile and deeply rooted in ideas that pose a serious danger to us, while this violent discrimination against transmascs and trans men is still rooted in these transmisogynistic, anti-transfem ideas. I am not trying to say that there is zero violence against transmascs, just that it is much less common.
What do TMA and TME mean?
If you’ve ever had a discussion with a transfem person online about the difference in transfem and transmasc issues, you’ve probably seen the terms “TMA” and “TME”. TMA means transmisogyny affected, and TME means transmisogyny exempt. In simpler terms, TMA means you are oppressed on a societal level by transmisogyny, and TME means you aren’t. Someone is TMA if they are assigned male at birth and transition away from this, or intersex and believe themself to be hurt by transmisogyny. On the other hand, someone is TME if they are assigned female at birth and transition to become more masculine, including nonbinary identities, or intersex and otherwise not hurt by transmisogyny.
When bringing this up in trans spaces, I often get the argument back that transmascs can be affected by transmisogyny, citing examples of them in real life being told they “aren’t really a woman” and being called transmisogynistic slurs. The argument against this is pretty simple– being discriminated against because a stranger mistakenly thought you were part of a minority group does not mean that you face their oppression.
Another thing I hear is the notion that me mentioning that transfemmes have it worse is that I’m implying that trans men don’t face transphobia or that I’m playing the “oppression olympics”. I think that when presented with the idea that transfemmes have it worse on a societal level, transmascs feel the need to defend themself and to prove that they are also victims of transphobia. I assure you that the purpose of bringing this up isn’t to imply that transmascs do not also face transphobia, but rather to try to start a conversation regarding the issues that we face, as transfemmes are often overlooked in online trans spaces.
How does this relate to OSDDID?
In people with DID or OSDD, the identity of individual alters within their system is often massively important. Allowing each member of their system to present using their preferred name, pronouns, and other identifying characteristics helps each alter feel more like an individual, and can lead to very healthy and functional multiplicity, especially online. This identity is often shaped around their presentation in the innerworld, which is the psyche’s representation of the system, occurring in not all systems, and usually being formed due to a source of comfort during the trauma that initially caused the individual’s OSDDID.
The innerworld can be anywhere ranging from simple to complex, and alters in the innerworld can have their own presentation and physical features, which can shape their identity in the real world. However, issues can arise when alters in the innerworld present as an oppressed identity that their shared body is not a part of. It is possible for an individual with OSDDID to have alters that are outside of their race, gender, birth sex, or physical ability. In these cases, there can be a conflict over whether or not it is right for that alter to claim that identity in the real world.
A widely debated topic in the OSDDID community is something called alter race. Alter race is the idea that an alter in the system can be a race different from the body. I want to be clear: I am in no way trying to compare the actual experiences of race to the experiences of gender. I am bringing this up to show the basic connection in logic, so that people who don’t understand where I’m coming from can relate it to something they already know.
It is generally accepted that it is not right for an alter who presents in the innerworld as a race that the body isn’t to claim that racial identity and to use aspects of that culture. This is because that alter will not face that racial oppression when they are fronting in the body, and they can’t truly understand how it is to live as that race.(6) The same basic line of logic can be applied to trans identities– even if an alter may be in the innerworld as biologically male or transgender male to female, if the system’s body is transmasc or otherwise TME, they won’t face the actual oppression that comes with being transfem.
Often when I have brought up this point in system oriented spaces, I’ve heard that the alters who present as transfem in the innerworld have painful pseudomemories of facing transmisogyny and being the victims of transphobia. While this is unfortunate, there is a reason they are pseudomemories. They simply aren’t real. A system’s brain can not fully comprehend the idea of being something that it isn’t– a “transfem” alter’s experience will always be a non-transfem’s brain’s projection of what it thinks that is. And the unfortunate truth is simply that having these memories does not mean the identity is yours to claim. No matter what memories you have, you won’t face transmisogyny, which is a huge aspect of a transfem’s identity, and it is simply not your place to group yourself in with us if you don’t understand what it’s like to live as one of us in real world society.
If the system that a self-identified transfem alter is in is transmasc, they will often mention how the body is transitioning to be more masculine, and this leads the alter to feeling gender dysphoria when in front. While this is unfortunate, this does not fix the issue at its core– being transfem is much more than just gender dysphoria. Facing gender dysphoria in front does not change the fact that all the constant societal oppression and propaganda against trans women is not against you.
So… what does that make me?
I understand this might be something that is hard to accept. Chances are you’ve gotten used to this label; you likely feel as if it's a core part of your identity. But this is an issue that perpetuates the issue of TME individuals speaking over us in trans spaces, and the horrors of transmisogyny being co-opted by people who aren’t hurt by it. Please, listen to people who are bodily transfem and TMA on this. We get enough from transphobes, and it hurts not being able to feel accepted even in spaces that are supposed to be welcoming.
If you are willing to accept what I’ve said in this document, you may wonder what label you should use. I want to be clear that I am not saying that you aren’t your preferred gender or that you’re actually a man, just that you aren’t transfem AND your gender identity. When it comes to how to identify, my best suggestion is to do one of two things: 1- simply identify as your specific gender identity. If you’re MtF in source or in the innerworld, just say you’re female. If you’re nonbinary, just say you’re nonbinary. 2- say you are bodily TME or bodily transmasc, and that you identify as female, or nonbinary, or whatever it may be. It’s okay to talk about how you present in the innerworld or what your body is in there, as long as you don’t try to say that you, in or outside front, are a “transfem alter”.
Author’s Note & Conclusion
I encourage you to spread this document as you see fit. A lot of these issues are fairly new to a lot of people on the internet, and I want as many people as possible to know about transfeminine struggles and how they can do their part to help end them. The way that plurality affects our identity is very complicated, and I encourage everyone to do plenty of research, and most importantly, listen to the voices of the groups asking you to stop! A great place to start would be the article linked in the 6th citation. It’s amazingly written and talks in great detail about why the idea of alter race is harmful from a POC’s viewpoint. I sincerely thank you for reading up to this point.
Sources
[1]: New York Times, 2017. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/22/us/lgbt-julia-serano-transfeminist-trans-misogyny.html?partner=bloomberg
[2]: glaad, 2017.
https://www.glaad.org/blog/when-will-it-end-documenting-us-epidemic-anti-trans-hate-violence-2017
[3]: Stonetoss. https://stonetoss.com/archive/
[4]: Revealed: The symbols that pedophiles use to signal their sordid sexual preferences on social media, DailyMail.
[5]: Why Girls Become Boys, PragerU. https://www.prageru.com/video/why-girls-become-boys
[6] The Elephant in the Room, Ezra et Alia. https://axolotlsinatrenchcoat.com/2021/06/21/the-elephant-in-the-room/