Flermernger Code of Conduct

Introduction & Purpose

The Flermerngers pride ourselves on inclusion, friendliness, and being a safe and welcoming environment for all — regardless of level of in-game experience or skill, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance / body image, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, or other similar characteristics.  We want to maintain the quality of our community in the face of our rapid growth, so we’re laying out this Code of Conduct to outline what types of behavior we condone vs. condemn.

The purpose of our Code of Conduct is not to have everyone walking on eggshells.  The purpose of this Code is to make sure this community is awesome and fun for all of our members and to provide guidelines to the 5% of members who sometimes seem confused by the meaning of our Rule #3: “Don’t Be a Dick.”

We know your idea of a good time probably doesn’t include reading several pages about conduct.  If you aren’t going to read this document, please at least scroll all the way to the end for the TL;DR.  But please be aware that “not reading the Code” is NOT a valid defense for violating any part of it.  (VIPs and mods are asked to read and explicitly agree to this entire document so they can help us enforce it.)

Conflict & Resolution

• No drama.  It is our goal to reach a positive resolution to all conflicts. If you can’t put aside your drama and get along, you will be asked to leave, regardless of whether you “started it.”
• ALWAYS de-escalate.  We aim to aggressively de-escalate all conflicts.  If you’re feeling upset, the first thing you should consider is stepping away from the situation to cool down.  Ask a mod to step in if you can’t handle the situation calmly.  Just like in “real life,” a single careless word or action can ruin your reputation in an instant — and catch you a lifetime ban from this fun and friendly community.  Think before you speak.
• Chillax.  It’s also our goal to have fun!  A community that’s too uptight is a very dull place!  If you’re offended easily, you might not fit in well here.  99.9% of the time, people here joke around to try to be funny, not to offend.  Sometimes they miss the mark — try to have thick-ish skin, assume the best about people, and adopt a forgiving attitude.
• We have your back.  No matter who you are, if you feel harassed or made uncomfortable by a community member, DM our ModmailBot immediately.  VIP or Flermling, we care about making this community a safe place for you.

General Conduct

• Be welcoming.  Please help our new Flermlings feel welcomed by posting welcome messages when they join, playing with them whenever possible, and vouching for them when they’re a good fit for the group.
• Be friendly.  Group up with new people and ask them about themselves; we all have at least one thing in common!  If you’re not feeling friendly, at least be polite - no need to be mean or rude.
• Give kudos.  We look for and reward positive contributions to this community.  Give tacos when people are good teammates (both in-game and in Discord).  If someone did something really legit, please bring it to the attention of the mods.
• We’re all equals here.  Regardless of your rank within the server, we're all equal with respect to how we should treat each other.  A certain tier of membership does not confer any superiority or inherent justification to treat another member with anything other than respect, decency and kindness.
• Your name matters. While we’re all adults and can handle adult humor within reason, blatantly offensive Discord names and in-game names are something we want to avoid. If you have an overtly sexual or otherwise offensive Discord / in-game name, you may be asked to change it if you want to be part of the community.

In-Game

• You are a representative.  Remember that everything you do in-game reflects upon our community as a whole.  We’re proud of our reputation as a friendly, helpful clan, and want to uphold that.
• Be helpful.  Offer to help members through content when you can - it’s more fun with a buddy!
• Don’t initiate douchiness.  Don’t be the asshole teabagging everyone in PvP.  (If they initiate it, you can return it if you want.)  Don’t AFK in a strike expecting the others to do the work.  Do NOT engage in flame wars via ANY means of messaging, even if someone else initiates.  Be the bigger person — ignore it, and report them.
• Play fair.  Don’t use PvP exploits / hacks / cheats.  It makes the game less fun for everyone else.  You’ll be banned from this clan, and likely in-game, too.  Remember that DDoSing is illegal in almost every country and carries criminal penalties — it’s never worth it for a video game.
• Play with new people regularly.  Cliquiness is a BIG no-no here!  If you’re always grouping up with the same friends, change it up!
• Your account is your own. While we do have an amazing community with talented and skilled individuals (both in PvP and PvE), “boosting” accounts (logging into someone’s account for the purpose of running them through tough activities) isn’t in the spirit of the Flermerngers and has the potential to create serious interpersonal conflict if something goes wrong.  But we absolutely encourage teaming up and helping others through tougher content!

Chat

• Joke around!  “Medium salsa” banter is specifically encouraged (following the other guidelines here).  If you have very thin skin and can’t handle good-natured ribbing / joking, you may not be comfortable here.
• Check your language / tone.  We have zero tolerance for assholes in text or voice chat.  This includes general douchenozzles, super salty players, and people using language that's way too spicy for friendly play ("gay", "f-g", "n-gger", "c-nt", etc).  (Be careful about regional language differences!)  This behavior gets one warning before a ban.
• Memes, edgy jokes, and knowing your audience. Memes are your speech. Some memes are offensive to others. A single picture cannot explain a complex subject like political tensions with nuance like a discussion might, and some folks may not understand the irony or vague context of the joke. We are also vigilant in regards to dog-whistles/coded phrases. Be sensitive towards others, as you may not know what might hurt someone, such as jokes about suicide. If you're going to make edgy jokes, be sure your audience will appreciate it. Giving a potentially upsetting image a spoiler tag and warning would help people filter out images they do not want to see. Err on the side of caution, but you can always ask the mods to be sure.  (If in doubt, play it safe and stick to PG-13 topics.)  
• No harassment.  We have a zero-tolerance policy towards harassment of any kind -- there is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior in this community.  Harassment includes, but is not necessarily limited to:

• Violence, threats of violence or violent language directed against another person.
• Sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist or otherwise discriminatory jokes and language.
• Posting or displaying sexually explicit or violent material.
• Personal insults of any nature, but particularly those related to gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, political views, or disability.
• Unwelcome sexual attention. This includes overtly sexualized comments or jokes, as well as unwelcome sexual advances.
• Advocating for, or encouraging, any of the above behavior.
• Any situation where a person shows discomfort and the harassing behavior did not cease

• Cool down.  If you’re upset during a conversation, do not start an argument — keep your cool, and avoid escalating the situation.
• Wait your turn.  If you join a voice channel with members already in it, please wait a few seconds and listen before speaking — if your peers are making callouts, do not interrupt them. Wait for either a greeting or a moment of quiet where you know it’s okay to greet them.
• Heed moderator warnings.  Remarks that moderators find inappropriate, whether listed in this Code of Conduct or not, are also not allowed.

Team Events & LFG Etiquette

• Don’t EVER rage-quit.  Rage-quitting from a team activity out of frustration or anger with no warning will result in an instant suspension.  If you’re feeling tilted, tell your teammates calmly that you need to leave. Likewise, please ask your team if it’s okay to stop for a bit; taking a break will help you to calm down and clear your mind, and it’s only beneficial to the group as a whole.
• Be reliable.  Signing up for an event is a commitment. You are saying you will be there and will have the time for the full event. If you no-show an event you signed up for or leave shortly after starting for no reason you will be given a warning. Repeat offenders are subject to suspension.
• Give a heads up.  If something does come up (or has potential to come up) and you may need to leave an event prior to the start time, let the group know the situation and that one or more alternates may be called in as a substitute.
• Find your own replacement.  If you leave a group activity unexpectedly, and your departure will hurt the team, please try to find your own replacement via alternates on the event card or pinging your platform’s LFG channel.
• You’re not committed until you commit.  If you sign up as an alternate and are called upon to play, it’s okay to decline for any reason.
• Plan ahead and put in the work.  If you create an impromptu event and you do not get the event card filled in time, don’t be salty and/or violate this code. Remember to plan ahead, advertise your event and consider the day and time you make the event for.
• Don’t spam.  Remember that sending @pc or @ps4 or @xbox will ping the phones of dozens of people at all hours.  Do not spam a platform role ping in an LFG channel if you are not getting responses — be patient, as well as aware of the time of day.

Violations

• If you see something, say something.  For the safety and comfort of all our members — if you see a member violating the Code of Conduct (even not with you directly), please say something to let them know it’s not alright, without escalating the situation.  If you don’t feel comfortable confronting the person, DM our ModmailBot, and we’ll be happy to address it.  Even if you feel comfortable saying something to an offender yourself, please let the mods know so that we’re aware of it and can address it further, if necessary.
• Provide proof when possible.  If someone made an inappropriate comment in Discord, screenshot it.  If they were inappropriate in voice chat, note the channel and time, and tell us who else was there who can corroborate it.  Moderation is much simpler when it’s not just your word against someone else’s.
• Stay calm.  If you’re going to address another member’s negative behavior directly, please do it calmly and consider doing it via Discord DM so it doesn’t become a spectacle.
• Don’t make excuses for your bad behavior.  This is an online gaming group — many people here have some kind of condition, trauma, or current drama in their lives.  If you are one of them, this means you’re not alone, and you can feel comfortable knowing that you will never be attacked for it.  However, this also means that you cannot use it as a shield from discussion or criticism.
• Apologize for fuck-ups.  If you did something that you later realized was unkind (or that many people are telling you was unkind), please apologize to those you hurt.  A very public instance of dick-ishness might be best served by a public apology.  But otherwise, a private apology by DM can be fine.
• With privilege comes responsibility.  Higher ranks of membership confer additional privileges, but also the responsibility that comes with being a more visible leader of the community.  Higher member tiers are held to a higher standard than other community members.  If a VIP or especially a mod creates an inappropriate situation, they should expect less leeway than others.

Moderation

• Decisions are made by teams.  Each potential disciplinary action is carefully considered by a group of moderators — it is never a flippant one-person decision.
• We investigate.  When an infraction is reported, we gather as much information as possible from all parties involved.  If the situation is urgent, we will conduct an abbreviated investigation.
• Avoid getting defensive.  If an admin or mod approaches you to investigate a complaint, please answer their questions calmly and truthfully.  This is just part of the process and isn’t personal.  Avoid the instinct to get defensive or aggressive — this never ends well.
• Second chances.  No matter how badly you fucked up, if it was a first offense, you can almost always fix it by admitting fault, accepting responsibility, apologizing, and providing earnest assurance that it won’t happen again.
• Complaints.  If you think a disciplinary action against you or another member was unjustified, please take it up with an admin in private.  Complaints about disciplinary actions in public channels are not allowed.

Disciplinary Actions

• Warning.  Our preferred method is to approach a member (usually privately) with a warning and give them an opportunity to correct their behavior and make amends.  This often successfully de-escalates and resolves the conflict.
• Mute.  If we think a situation is escalating out of control in the heat of the moment, moderators may mute certain members temporarily.  This will prevent those members from sending messages in chat until the mute is removed.  If you’ve been muted, that’s a strong signal that you need to step away and cool down.  If we find that you’re sending angry or seditious DMs to people while muted, it may escalate immediately to a ban.
• Demotion.  We hold higher tiers of members to a higher standard.  If you act in a way unbecoming of your rank, your rank may be removed, even all the way back down to Flermling.  You may be able to earn some ranks back, but it will take time, and the slow and steady re-earning of our members’ trust.
• Suspension.  For egregious or repeated offenses, you may be suspended from the community for a minimum of 14 days.  During the suspension you will lose access to the Discord server and your in-game clan spot.  If you want to come back afterwards, you’ll have to go through the same join process as a new member and start from the bottom.
• Ban.  Bans are a last resort, and used rarely.  Of the 800+ people who have come and gone over the years, only about half a dozen have been banned.  But a ban can come lightning fast when we feel one is warranted.  We would rather have a clan of 10 people with class and integrity who treat everyone with respect, than a clan of 100 with even one bad egg.

TL;DR

If you’re skipping to the bottom here, please be aware that “not reading the Code” is NOT a valid defense for violating any part of it.

In summary:

• Be friendly, always
• Assume the best intentions, and be forgiving
• Think before you speak
• Actively de-escalate all conflicts
• Respect other members' investment of time
• Be your best self