The sun at noon

struck the glass

and i could no longer

see within

Reflected back

Soulless, distracted eyes recognising for an instant


this empty shell

thinking and doing

thinking and behaving


This modern world

is it an acknowledgement

of this emptiness?

this neon

this plastic

no longer trying to make it look


no longer lying

a rare moment of candour?

was it intended?

can i believe it was intended?

by some drunken god, given up


parting words?

Oh, that narrative

I dare not finish

those words

the power of association

to drive me into

some imagined emptiness

what will i do

to avoid completing the sentence?

These are our three ages

marking time

trying to fill

trying to distract

trying to accept

our avoidance

of a central anxiety

an emptiness

Have I been


from an idyllic past

wrenched, as if

from a mother's womb

cast out

into a world corrupted

by some inimical force

the banks

the tories

the system?

Can i subscribe to this belief?

- how much better it used to be

shall I recite this story to myself?

shall I cling

to these fragmented narratives?

like driftwood

after the ship sank

or would I

be better off drowning?

And what is my intention here

hypocrites lecteurs?

To drag you into

a shared realisation?

trying to fill

trying to distract

trying to accept

Would i feel less alone?

less like the thoughts that no one wants

Would we come together

in joyous celebration

each admitting

I too know it

would there be some succour?

Or should i offer

some salvation

some healing balm

(only 3c a packet)

(only £300 a workshop)

Should i say to you…

if only you had more money

if only you had better sex

if only you had better relationships

if only you had healed the issues

with your mother

if only



then… what?

should i tell you

it would feel better

the emptiness gone

Can i aggrandize myself


a solution

like narcissus, would you worship me?

he offered a solution

knowing all the while

Knowing all the while

Poems by Devaraj  #1   July 2017

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